An Offer Sonic Can't Refuse
by Tirgo69
Summary: Eggman has Sonic trapped, and will let Sonic go if he does just one thing... What is it? Lemon
1. Chapter 1

One day, Sonic was running. Yes, he was running. Running so damn fast that you'd have to be goddamn Batman to see him run. Fuck. All of a sudden, he heard a scream! "Holy fuck!" he said, while ironing his shoes. He got his ass over to where the screaming was coming from and found none other than Eggman!

But, who was screaming? "But, who was screaming?" Sonic inquired.

"You stupid hedgehog! I was the one screaming! It was my Dr. Eggman Scream-o-Metatic Machine! He pointed at it." He pointed at it.

"Fuck your stupid saying stupid shit! Faggot! Why would you do that?" Sonic yelled.

"Well, you silly furball, I did that so I could get your attention! Read this!" And Eggman pulled out a letter adressed to Sonic. Sonic took the letter and read it.

'Dear Sonic, I baked a cake for you. Please come to the castle. Signed, Princess Sally (peach)'

"Holy shit, Eggman! This letter is from Sally! I can tell, because that's where the return adress goes!" Sonic said, finishing his chili dog.

"Then run to her, boy, run to the return adress!" Eggman shouted, and Sonic took off at the speed of sound, causing a musical montage.

Sonic, he can really move!  
Sonic, he's got an attitude!  
Sonic, HE'S THE FASTEST THING ALIVE!  
HE'S THE FASTEST THING ALIVE!  
HE'S THE FASTEST THING ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!

Sonic arrived at the return adress and found that it led directly to a small building. There was a sign next to it that said "PRINCESS SALLY LIVES HERE" and under it was a sign saying "THIS IS A TRAP". Sonic walked though the front door, when suddenly, IT WAS A TRAP!

Eggman appeared in his Eggpod, laughing wildly at the sight of Sonic being trapped in a small cage. "Hoho! You fell for it!" He said gleefully.

"FUCK YOUR SHIT EGGFAGGOT, I'M GONNA FUCK YOU UP WHEN I GET THE FUCK UP OUTTA HERE, BITCH!" Sonic ranted, but he was unable to get the fuck up outta there since he was trapped. In a box. He ran around the small box for a while before saying "LET ME OUTTA HERE FAG"

Eggman ohohohoed and said, "No way, Sonic! I won't be letting you out that easily!"

"First, you must do something for me..." Eggman's glasses flashed like an anime character.

"What is it, stupid bitch?" Sonic asked, now content with being stuck in the box.

"If you fuck me, I will let you go." Eggman said, leaning back in his pod. A long pause.

"UM NO" said Sonic.

"Would you fuck me if I was wearing something sexier?"

"no"

"Would you fuck me if I transformed into something sexier?"

"no"

"Would you fuck me, with a goat?"

"wut"

"Would you fuck me in a house? Would you fuck me... with a mouse?"

"FUCK NO YOU STUPID BITCH"

"why not"

"I DO NOT LIKE EGGMAN DICK. I DO NOT LIKE IT, EGG-I-AM"

"Would you fuck me if I transformed into Sally?"

"no she's a bitch"

"Would you fuck me if I transformed into Amy?"

"sure whatever"

And so Eggman transformed into Amy.

The room instantly began to change, becoming the ultimate love nest. Sonic looked around the amazing lovenest. He soon came to the conclusion that he wanted to leave. However, he had made an agreement. And so there was Eggmamy, who was Eggman who was transformed to look exactly like Amy. With science.

"Get over here and fuck me already," said Eggmamy. Sonic did not like this one bit.

Suddenly, ROBOTNIK CAME INTO THE ROOM!

"What the fuck are you doing to my reputation?" said Robotnik. both Eggmamy and Sonic were lost for words.

"Can I offer you something eat, so-so-something to eat?" Robotnik said, offering Sonic something to eat.

"Um, no," said Sonic, who was now tapping his foot like a bitch.

"I think I love you, Sonic!" said Robotnik

"Yeah?" said Sonic.

"Be the honor of my looove. Can I offer you something to eat, so-so-something to eat? Can I offer you teaaa and something to eat? Come in, come in, what a pleasant surprise, come in my little friends. Come in, come in, can I offer you tea? How thoughtful of me, offer you tea-tea-tea-tea?" said Robotnik

Sonic did not like this situation still.

Even worse, Eggman was turning back into Eggman.

And then they got closer.

The next thing Sonic knew, he was being raped violently by both Eggmen. It wasn't too bad.

The next day, Sonic woke up in the lovebed, with the Robotniks sleeping on his chest. He ran the fuck away like he was fucking scared for his life because he was. He also had huge chest pains due to the fucking Robotniks sleeping on his chest.

He arrived back home to find Tails and Amy fucking on his bed. Sonic didn't like this still. In fact, he decided that this was not a very good thing, and he didn't really want this to happen. He grabbed his shotgun and shot the fuck out of both of them, causing his bed to become filled with blood. He then decided to rape Amy's dead body, since he had secretly had feelings for her but decided not to show them because he was way past cool

Meanwhile, Knuckles was walking down the street when SUDDENLY, Robotnik came out of nowhere and came on his face! "Ha! I came on your face!" said Robotnik, chorting loudly. Knuckles freaked the fuck out and killed everyone within a one mile radius, then hanged himself.

TO BE CONTINUED 


	2. Chapter 2

Sonic is continuing to fuck Amy s corpse for no reason, whistling and watching TV while doing so. SUDDENLY, Eggman bursts in the door! Sonic! I need your help!

Sonic put down Amy s bloody corpse and turned to Eggman. why the fuck would i help you god

Because Cream is raping all my robots and destroying them! YOU NEED TO HELP ME! Eggman cried, crying while doing so.

Sonic considered this for a second before saying, no fuck you . He then went back to fucking Amy s now slightly decaying behind. Eggman stood there for a second before leaving, giving Sonic the finger as he left.

Cream was raping all of Eggman s robots with her gigantic black cock. While she did this, Eggman ran the fuck away and called SHADOW. Now SHADOW is going to go battle with CREAM. GOOD LUCK OUR HEROS !

Shadow arrived at Eggman s base (wearing a pink jacket and the most faabulooous purple shoes), overlooking the huge amounts of damaging being done by Cream s absolutely massive and amazing black cock. He watched it for a while before jumping down.

Hey girl! said Shadow, waving to her flambouantly.

FUCK YOU SILVER I DON T WANT TO KILL THE PRESIDENT GUAAARRRR said Cream, continuing to rape tons and tons of robots.

So how you beeeeen? Shadow inquired, putting on fingernail paint.

Suddenly, Cream took out a gun and shot Shadow over 9000 times in the face, causing him to probably die. She then went back to raping.

Eggman, who was watching from his Eggpod, said not to many words at that point, but this is what he said: FUCK! . He then sped off back to Sonic s house.

When he arrived, he found that the house had totally fucking diappeared for no goddamn reason. The only explanation he could think of was that Sonic was kidnapped by aliens who wanted to screw him for no reason. He then decided this was retarded, so he left.

Meanwhile, Sonic was being kidnapped by aliens who wanted to screw him for no reason.

TO BE CONTINUED 


	3. Chapter 3

Let me briefly talk about Rouge. She is a whore, but among the most rediculous and horrible whores in the entire world. What kind of whore is she, you say? What could be that rediculous? Well, she fucks for no money. But labels herself as a hooker. So, she s just a fucking slut. She also has the roomiest vagina in the Sonic world, and just about every male has tapped that. After the 50th guy, she got really loose, and it s now one of those get it over with sort of deals.

So, when Eggman went up to her and asked her to help him with this problem involving a large black penis, she thought she knew what he was talking about. She would be completely wrong about this.

And that s how Cream and Rouge met. After 2 minutes of heated discussion, they were then fucking and this would be perfectly cool if it weren t for Cream being fucking 6, having a 6 foot long penis, and that Rouge died minutes into this action. Her body wasn t ready.

Eggman was later quoted as saying, !

At this point, Eggman decided to just fucking nuke his entire base, causing Cream to finally stop annoying the shit out of him. On the down side, he just nuked his entire fucking base.

Around this time, Sonic finally finished doing necrophilia and went to go run as fast as he could around the world as many times as he could. He didn t do this because he was fast enough to do that, but rather because he just committed necrophilia and shortly before that, got gangbanged by Robotniks. It was probably the worst day of his entire life.

And so he decided to write a haiku.

I fucking hate life

I really wish I could die

And I want chili

After some thought, he found out that dog backwards is god . And this is how he felt about chili dogs; they were the gods of all chili. Chili Gods. Also, chili backwards is ilihc , which is sort of like ibilus , which makes him think about banging Elise. Man, those were the days.

TO BE CONTINUED 


	4. Chapter 4

42 + 42 - 42 (42/42)= 42

Eggman decided to kill himself after the loss of his entire life s work, but it was hard work to get standing on a chair. At last, he was successful and hung himself. He did it directly next to Knuckles to make it more amusing.

DEAD CHARACTERS: Amy, Tails, Robotnik, Knuckles, Cream, Rouge, Shadow, Eggman

NOT DEAD CHARACTERS: FANG THE SNIPER!

And so there was Fang the Sniper. And what a motherfucker this was was. I mean, think of all the reasons to punch somebody in the mouth. He s done all of those things. Yes, including raping your face while you re asleep.

These days, he just hung around in his apartment and smoked tons of weed. The cops decided that having him high as fuck was better than having a gun in his hand, so they made it legal for him to smoke weed. He took this in stride, of course.

He frequents YouTube, creating most of the comments there under innumerable alts. Yes, he is the cancer on YouTube. You have him to thank.

What significance does he have to this plot?

nothing.

However, there is someone who has significance to this plot, and their name is Awesome the Fancharacter! Awesome is amazing and beautiful and perfect and is in love with Sonic and they fell in love and since all fanfic writers are female this fancharacter is also female. Awesome also has huge tits, like that doesn't hurt your fucking back.

Anyway, Awesome is awesome and sexy and awesome. One day, Awesome was going to Sonic's house for some lovin', when she found Tails and Amy's dead bodies (as well as some very confused aliens who came to kidnap someone who had just left). Distressed, Awesome decided to use her sexy chaos powers to teleport over to where Sonic was (they have a telepathic connection obviously).

"Oh, hey baby! Man, I totally love you," said Sonic, immediately becoming flanderized from whatever kind of character he was like before.

Before Awesome could respond, however, there was a sudden voice proclaiming itself to the entire world! And... It said, "HELLO! I AM EGGMAN NEGA, AND I FUCKIN' OWN YOU NIGGAS NOW."

TO BE CONTINUED 


	5. Chapter 5

"SINCE I HERD YOU HAVE NO EVIL BASTARDS IN THIS DIMENSION ANYMORE, I'M MOTHERFUCKING TAKING IT OVER. MY SWATBOTS WILL BE DOWN THERE AND KICKING YOUR ASS IN ABOUT 5 SECONDS. 'kay, thanks," and then the voice stopped.

"Swatbots? Fucking fuck. I hate those stupid faggot assholes," said Sonic.

"Don't worry, we can take them," exclaimed Awesome, but suddenly a Swatbot appeared next to them. The main problem was that it appeared to be fueled by chaos energy, and the other problem was that he just shot Sonic in the heart.

"!" said Awesome, and she ran the fuck away. Who else was there to turn to? She teleported to the first person she could think of...

Blaze the Cat!

Except she was dead by the time Awesome got there.

Big? Dead.  
Silver? Dead.  
Pochamac? Dead.  
Chaos? Dead.  
Mina? Dead.  
Nack? Dead.  
Chaotix? Dead.  
Archimedes? Dead.  
Sally? Dead.  
Antoine? Dead.  
Bunnie? Dead.  
Saffron? Dead.  
Mighty? Dead.  
Ray? Dead.  
Julie-Su? Dead.  
NICOLE? Dead.  
Rotor? Well, actually he was alive, so Rotor joined Awesome.  
Bark? Dead.  
Bean? Dead.  
Dark Legion? All dead.  
Iron Queen? Dead.  
Ixis Nausus? Dead.  
Nic? Dead.  
Scratch and Grounder? Dead.  
Coconuts? Actually for no reason alive, and so joins Awesome.  
Snively? Dead.  
Kodos? Dead.  
All badniks? Dead.  
Every Freedom Fighter? Dead.  
Wolf Pack? Dead.  
Everyone in any way related to King Acorn (including bodyguards and the like)? Dead.  
Scourge and all the Antis? Dead too.  
And Fiona? Dead.  
Every other fancharacter? Dead.  
Babylon Rouges? Dead.  
Chao? Dead.

But other than them, everyone else was fine. And so began the adventures of Awesome, Rotor, and Coconuts.

TO BE CONTINUED 


End file.
